it started off with an interview. you were this shy, timid kid interviewing for the da team. me and nathan thought you were the sweetest kid ever and had lots of potential.
after, i ran into you at the career fair during your da team interview process. i said hi. you proceeded to ask me who i was. i was like, damn, i liked that kid but he didn't even remember my name. smh. LOL.
then, i bumped into you and brandon at the tech mixer. both of you had your resumes in hand, excited about the possibility of getting an internship.
i said hi to y'all and we began talking a lot. all 3 of us clicked instantly.
hey, these kids are really cool. ima invite them to boba and my party tonight
you got boba w/ us and went with me to buy alcohol for my party. i could tell you didn't party much and was still very new to the idea of college parties. you were naive, unsure of what to expect, but excited. you pulled up and took a couple shots. in a blink of an eye, i see u standing in the middle of the kitchen, with a bag over your neck and your head down.
LOL. this dude is so lightweight. i'm really glad he's having fun and experiencing something new.
after that, everytime me and nathan saw you at a da team meeting, we would always try to get you to rush akpsi. we "brainwashed" you and brandon LOL. but i'm glad it worked :)
you came out to rush and pledged. throughout this, i saw your growth. and you kept on growing ... and growing ... and growing
you were always putting on a really calm front. but, you truly began showing everyone who you truly were, in the best way possible.
you stopped giving a fuck about what people thought of you and said whatever was on your mind. you started being silly, goofy, and loud. you started to love raves and going to parties.
damn... he has so much more to learn
i loved seeing your growth, but you had much more to learn. you were still trying to figure yourself out. how to deal with your emotions. how to navigate bad things that happen in your life. how to handle conflict without being scared of confrontation. figuring out what you wanted in life and how to be happy.
i know you're going to figure it out. you just need some time and space to truly blossom.
i always knew you were going to find your way. you just needed some time. i was looking forward to being there for you on your journey to finding true happiness.
it's crazy how we always talked about each other's futures.
since i've met you, you have always been stressed in some shape or form. whether getting an internship, or the thought of being single by 30, you were always anxious about the future.
i remember you and brandon stressing about being single forever while we were walking at the park next to our hotel in sacramento. i was like, one day, we're all gonna have dinner parties and walk around parks with our girlfriends. let's enjoy the time we have together now, because that day will eventually come (i guess i was wrong :/).
and then you finally got your internship. i was so fucking proud of you. we were all so happy for you!!!
you were like, i'm so clocked out. i finally have an internship and can relax now. fincon!!! ima go crazy this semester and have so much fun. i can't wait to make my first big purchase... a custom watch!
i remember i used to text you about my last semester in college and how i want to live it up with you. and you were so down!!
you started getting really into raving and was so fucking hype about the upcoming raves, especially getting to see ray volpe. you were so excited to finally get to see ray volpe live, an entire 3 months before you were gonna see him perform.
you wanted to work for a big tech company and get a loving girlfriend. eventually having kids somewhere in the suburbs in southern california. you really loved it down here.
i was unsure about what i wanted in life, especially the near future. but, talking to you about it made me think from a different perspective. did i really want to live in the city for the next couple years? darien's lwk right about it being musty and disgusting. maybe i should start travelling to asia... he makes it sound like literal heaven LOL.
your smile and positive energy were contagious. even when you were fighting your own battles, you always gave everyone positive affirmations.
you lit up every room you were in. you made everything so much better. i loved our talks on our long car rides back from trips, with you always in the passenger seat. i feel like i got to truly know you as a person, and not just how you presented yourself.
and i'm so glad to see your perspective on things. hearing you explain how much you've changed since high school. about how you stopped caring what people thought of you and how you feel like you can truly be yourself. it made me really happy to hear.
i am so glad i was a part of your life. i was always rooting for you. even when it didn't seem like it, everything i did was to help you. you had so much more untapped potential.
i just wish you had more time.
your future was going to be so bright.
quirky, genuine, bubbly, funny, hyper, loud, innocent, kind, lovable, sociable, cute, good natured
these words don't do justice to who you truly were as a person, but it encompasses many parts of you.
you fucking played a game with a bunch of smiling fruits on the airplane LOL
so quirky
you HATED sacramento and the city. defo a suburban dude.
could not handle not being in a non-asian area for more than a day
got dirty looks from white people on the plane LMFAOO (and got mad over it)
yelled at an old homeless lady cuz she roasted you
oml this was so funny. even though you seemed so nice on the outside, you had a side to you that was so real.
you started saying "fuck it. just do it bro. nothing matters."
bro, it's awesome seeing you say what i brainwashed you with LOL. things rly went full circle huh.
i miss you complaining about work and crashing out at times LOL.
you let it all out to your friends and told us everything on your mind.
this shit was also rly entertaining and funny. i miss this.
1 shot of soju and you're at a 7
2 shots and you're nearly blacked out. LMAO.
you falling asleep at the ucr mixer during family feud LOL
your face was always a tomato when you drank
i remember when i was sad in the hotel room, and you changed my music to ray volpe and tried to make me feel better.
singing along and getting so hype to the music, by yourself
all just to make a sad boy feel better
what a character. i loved it and appreciated it so much.
you at escape was the best. there was so much drama in our group and bad things going on, but you STAYED lit. you kept the energy up and vibed with everyone you were with. you made everyone so much happier. you even built connections with random people you never even met before.
loved seeing you dance with everyone. i was always so happy to see you happy.
i loved how down you always were to try new things
ik your ass hated working out, but i loved how you were down to work out with us
us screaming each other when we're gymming. so silly.
you even boxed with us!!! fuck bro, we were supposed to take muay thai classes this semester with each other. :(
i love how anyone can approach you.
you were literally a magnet. everytime i saw you, i was immediately drawn to you.
ppl feel comfortable with you.
everytime i spoke with you, i feel like i could truly open up. you would always give positive affirmations and hype me up.
you were so good at taking jokes
we had such great banter. you literally vibed with our type of humor so well.
i miss doing karaoke in the car with you and listening to your playlists
i remember we found out we both liked taylor swift and would not stop talking about it
you loved 1989
you also loved conan gray
i will always remember your love for the song "lookalike" and the way you sang along to the song in my car
you were so girly pop. not a lot of guys have this similarity with me and are open about it. i rly fuck with that.
i miss your "hear me outs"
i remember you were so into arcane. while we were watching it, you kept saying your "hear me outs" with alison
one of them included how you thought jinx was rly attractive
estp
you were like a little brother to me. i want you to know that i love you. we all do.
you remind me a lot of myself. the struggles we were going through. our personalities. way of thinking. and it hurts to know that you're not physically here anymore.
but i want you to know that WE ALL love you. everybody you've met, you have made a positive impact on. i will ALWAYS remember you. i will continue asking myself "what would darien tell me to do?" when i need advice. i will keep your positive energy with me everywhere i go.
i will tell my kids about you. i will have your name hung up in my room and in my future home. you will never be forgotten. you are family to me. nothing will change now that you're gone. i will always love you just as much as when you were here. even 50 years from now, i will think about you and smile.
i will never forget you. you are a part of me now.
darien, i will ALWAYS remember you. we all will. you were the glue to every group. even though you're not on this earth any longer, you found a way to get us all closer together.
and for that, i am thankful. we all are.
i love you, darien.
Darien we miss you so much. I am devastated that you’re gone but I am sure I will see you again one day. -Nathan Leung